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= The Media Project =
My forties (and the tail end of my thirties) are for practical things, for building core memories with family and friends, and for building a sense of home.  Let creativity be a small part of it.


I probably won't name it "Gynergy".  I just had the URL.  But maybe I will?
=To Do=


== Target Reader ==
When you don’t have a realistic plan, you end up working inefficiently, which means you end up overworking.


'''The target reader is a college-educated, middle-class Millennial woman.  She wants to spend some of her time enjoying the good life with other women who "get her", and some of her time getting information and theory on the root causes of problems that are bugging her.'''
What are all the ways I am overworking?


=== Header ===


She has had experiences with '''entitled and manipulative men''', including sexual harassment, potentially coercion and manipulation in relationships.  She may be at various stages of "waking up" about this: recognizing that what happened was wrong, recognizing that it didn't happen in a vacuum, getting out of the "benefit of the doubt" mentality with an abuser, etc. 
Daily:
* Wake up, walk downtown and back, breakfast
* 2h Sophos, lunch, nap
* Up, 1h non-work work
* Free for social stuff and contemplating life


She is missing a coherent theory of male entitlement and manipulation that would explain her life experiences.  Or, she remembers when it was missing, and she understands its importance.


She may be a '''recovering people-pleaser'''.
This Week:
* Return exercise bike
* Gently address realistic discomfort at work
* Slowly enjoy and digest Built From Broken
* Skim and enjoy How To Listen So Kids Will Talk


She is '''uncomfortable with the oversexualization of women in culture''', but isn't sure how to address it.  She is also '''uncomfortable with "purity culture"''' and concerned about being shamed or controlled in relation to her clothing and sexual behavior.


She '''may or may not be sexually active, have sex outside of committed relationships, etc'''.  She's not looking for a hardcore ideology on this.  She's a fairly sexually normal woman who wants to understand how to avoid gross or traumatic experiences with men.
Current Priorities:
* Work: Assert myself, be physically ready for 2h focused work every day
* Health: Circadian Rhythm, Biomechanics, Better Blood
* Family & Kids: Create opportunities for listening and bonding
* Finance: Organize checking accounts, make unemployment plan (LOC)


She wants to talk about these things with other women like her, but not as part of an "exploited woman / helper organization" structure.  She also doesn't want it to devolve into bitterness or obsession.  She may be concerned about "going too far" and becoming unhappy.
=Health=


'''She wants information and theory on the root causes of problems.'''
[[Cardiac]]


She is interested in information, theory, and strategy for all aspects of male entitlement and coercion: in her sex life, dating life, marriage, family life, and potential court issues in the case of divorce and custody battles.
[[Nominal Aphasia]]


She is concerned about the '''well-being of children''' because of issues like online porn and gender ideology, and also because of abuse of the family court system.  If she has children, this is probably a primary driver for her.  If she doesn't have children, it is probably a secondary driver.
[[Appt Notes]]


[[Leg Pain]]


=== Politics and Faith ===
[[Gluteal Tendinopathy]]


She cares a lot about '''politics''', but may not have found her feet for becoming politically engaged.  She considers herself a bridge-builder and values respectful dialogue.  She may identify as progressive because of their reputation for promoting gender equality and freedoms for women.  She may identify as conservative due to their reputation for promoting family life, sex-based rights, and protections for children.  She has reservations about the behavior of both parties.  There may be one side that she considers to be the real enemy, and the other side that she considers to be basically good but in need of reform.
[[Metabolism]]


'''She may or may not have a religious faith.'''  If she does, she may have a complicated relationship with her church because of women's issues.  She is interested in discussing women's takes on church life, faith, and theology, including with women who are members of other religions.
[[Supplements]]


[[Inner Wellness]]


=== The Splitter Issues (See section below) ===
==Food==


'''She may consider herself pro-choice or pro-life.'''  If she supports some restrictions on abortion, she is still concerned about "extreme", highly restrictive abortion laws.  She may also be concerned about women being pressured into abortion.  She is willing to befriend and ally with women who disagree with her on abortion.
[[List of foods to remind me of variety]]


'''She supports gay people and people who don't fit into gender norms, but she is troubled by the push for inclusion of trans-identified males in women's sports, changing rooms, etc.'''  She desires an understanding of "what's going on" with the LGBT movement, and a way to feel a positive connection with gay people as a group while acknowledging the problems with the movement.
==Adaptive Devices==


[[Biomechanics and Movement]]


=== Miscellaneous ===
[[Bunions]]


She likes learning about '''women's power, intellect, and creative achievement across time and culture'''.  Women's history, philosophy, literature, art.
===Home Environment===


She has had at least one significant experience with '''creepy leftist capture in her intellectual, professional, or values-based networks'''.  This could be in a political group, at church, at a university, at work, in social justice advocacy, an arts community, etc.  She may have also had experiences with conservative capture or "anti-woke left" capture.
[[Active Sitting / Ergonomics]]


She strives to not spend her life on the Internet, and prefers face-to-face connection.
[[Sunlight Computer]]


== The Capture Problem ==
==Misc==


'''The magazine is an experiment in how to run a successful project that openly criticizes two things: conservative Christian pressures on abortion law, and secular progressive pressures on gender ideology law.'''
[[Airway]]


I want to open up a niche for women who are currently less engaged with women's issues than they could be because of the capture problem.
[[Leaky Gut]]


Our openness in critiquing both these things will determine how we relate to other organizations.
=Better Blood=


We don't criticize other organizations for choosing neutrality on abortion or gender ideology.  It's often the right choice.  We are just in a different niche.
[[Legal Justice]]


We encourage diversity of thought on abortion and gender ideology within our readership.
[[Better Blood]]


One reason is because of the culture of silence that's caused by organizations choosing to stay quiet on these issues to more effectively network with power bases.
=FinOps=


Both of these result in a feeling of "capture", which includes a feeling that a position commonly held by women is unspeakable.  This can create an atmosphere of walking on eggshells.
Once I am at the next level in my career and highly employable, explore routes to land jobs at places that satisfy the political do-gooder side of myself, and that offers me the same pay, benefits, and career security as private industry.  This is a moonshot: the one that makes sense for me to do.


Running a successful project requires donors, alliances, and a protection network.
Life is short and hard even for the most fortunate of us. And that’s why, whatever you have chosen to work on, it has to be worthy of your time here. Because if you have any success at all, it will take up at least a decade of your life. And if you’re really lucky, you get to work on it for multiple decades.  


I stopped by Austin for the FinOpsX conference, an amazing little thing put on by … maybe the Linux Foundation through some other community community, idk.


Anyway, it was really amazing. Open source is just so much fun, I’m really glad that I found it all those years ago. This conference was smallish, like 400 people, but had all the open source vibes that the Drupal scene had back in the day, or the Python scene had the only time I dipped my toes in a few years back.


Oh...I remember when this was fun!  This will be really fun once I get the core issue worked out.
John Grubb


Basic stance on abortion:
Whatever you need to help you feel successful is helpful to get you to the place of being successful, as long as you don’t confuse it with success itself.
*Right now in the US, a passionate minority of people with outlier views on abortion work to get abortion restrictions passed.  These restrictions go against popular opinion and, some cases, threaten women's physical safety. 
*It's important to understand how ideological capture works in this context.
*Women should be able to get abortions in the first trimester.
*Women should be able to get abortions when their health is at stake, or in cases of rape or incest.  The process should not be made overly complex or difficult because of a burden of legal proof.
*Beyond that, we support diverse and nuanced beliefs on abortion. 
*Having passionate beliefs about abortion is healthy, because it's an important moral issue.  It's also a complex moral issue, which is why other women will have passionate beliefs about abortion that are different from yours.
*It's good to have compassionate discussions on abortion with women who disagree with you. 
*Abortion is an important issue for women, and the issue itself should be treated with respect.


Basic stance on gender ideology:  
https://www.ignoredbydinosaurs.com/posts/success
*Right now in the US, a passionate minority of people with outlier views on gender identity work to get gender ID laws passed. These laws go against popular opinion and, some cases, threaten women's physical safety. 
*It's important to understand how ideological capture works in this context.
*Males should not be in women's sports or private spaces. 
*Lesbians should not be pressured to have sex with lesbian-identified males. 
*Gender-nonconforming kids should not be encouraged to see themselves as being a "girl in a boy's body", or the reverse. 
*Beyond that, we support diverse and nuanced beliefs on gender identity.


I work with a guy. He’s incredibly smart. He’s the seniormost developer here, and if you need to learn something new and get something large done, he’s the guy to do it. We basically dropped him off in the AWS jungle and told him to learn Hadoop and the entire Hadoop ecosystem for a data warehouse project and he did it.


I work with another guy. He’s also incredibly smart. But he asks me for the answer before attempting to find it on his own more often than not. He’s got a point when he says “it’s a lot faster for me to just ask you rather than spend time trying to find it on my own”, because he’s here to do a job after all. I get that. But the best analogy I can come up with is a spin on the old adage -


The magazine will present a fair, non-dramatic, strategic understanding of two political groups in the US: Intense Christian conservative activists and intense secular progressive activists. Neither group will be characterized simplistically as an enemy, but we won't be shy about criticizing some of their actions.
You can give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. You can teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime.


I would like to help my target reader understand the history of these two groups, their motivations and emotional lives, and their current role in American politics.  The goal is to help my target reader:
There’s a third kind of person, though - the person who goes out and finds out about fishing on their own and then teaches themselves how to fish. This person will be your boss, and will always be employed.
# Navigate "captured" spaces in her personal life.
# Vet information coming from both these sources, including information embedded as default beliefs in familiar spaces.
# Explore ideas about how to effectively organize for her own interests, which includes making decisions about how to relate to both of these groups.


== What We Do ==


The magazine provides a vision for the life our reader wants.


We also strategize about to solve the problems we all see happening.  However, we do this from a base vision of a life that is already pretty good.  Our aspirational reader is not in crisis, but she does see problems and wants to help solve them.


== Our Network ==


Maintain OUR OWN center of gravity.


I don't want the people in St Pete to feel like this "came from the internet", or is Internetty.  But I do need to tell them about FDS and Nina Paley.
=from Reddit =


Maintain just enough of a presence in online spaces that the women who are there can find us. Argue with them on Twitter; converse with them on Substack; be a guest on their podcast. But, maintain OUR OWN center of gravity that is elsewhere.
Its not that they hate recommendations, its that you have an opportunity to uplevel yourself and your skills - and it sounds like you really haven't taken it. Managing costs is one bucket of discipline. However, if we're truly measuring money, you have an opportunity to learn how to measure, execute and track on "opportunity cost".


There are wonderful, brilliant, politically informed women who are socially isolated because of creepy leftist capture in intellectual and political networks.
Sure the engineering team can execute on recommendations to reduce recurring running costs. It is fiscally prudent and responsible in a vacuum. At the same time, features or revenue growth initiatives can be orders of magnitude more valuable than executing on cost reduction opportunities. If engineering allocates the time and resources (money) to reduce a recurring cost, it is at the expense of:


Conservative and "anti-woke liberal" spaces are also captured in different ways.  All of these spaces are fundamentally captured by male interests.
The opportunity cost of not working on those other revenue growth initiatives.
The break-even return value of the recommendation (remember they've got to invest time to execute).
Here is the kicker for you - if you possess the skills to craft a single total ROI message in consideration of the two points above ; then you will naturally drop a chunk of your recommendations. The numbers will say its fiscally irresponsible to be investing on your existing "FinOps recommendations". At the same time, the recommendations you bring forward will generally have a high uptake rate because the break-even value is near term (weeks/days or yesterday) - or the opportunity cost of everything else is worse than missing out on those recurring savings. In the AWS-land, that usually centers around logging and CloudWatch usage where you can quickly realize 90% cost reductions in the magnitudes of hundreds of thousands with a break-even in less than 1 month.


Places to maintain a presence:
If you can do that - you'll have the foundations to compete for a CFO position within your career. If you cant - you will forever be relegated to the finance controller minion who will struggle to get their recommendations adopted by the other organizations. In the off-chance you make a CFO role, a fiscally responsible board will remove you when your aim is to save peanuts at the expense of missing out on acquiring a large customer base.
- Anti-woke networks
- Feminist networks
- Conservative women's networks
- Arts and literature networks
- Religious networks?


== Purpose of the Project ==
An analogy would be a hotel offering food services (breakfasts, lunches, dinners). There is a ton of food waste (possibly quite literally a ton).


I had several friends and authors who helped me see politics and culture in a new way, when I was making the journey from non-politically-active progressive loyalist to sort-of-politically-active nonpartisan feminist. I'd like to do a knowledge dump of all of that, plus other topics that I think will be relevant for that audience.
Can they optimize? Yes.
Should they optimize for responsibility to society? Yes.
Should they do it fiscally? No.
Why? The revenue comes in from selling the room. The spoilage is fiscally insignificant. It is fiscally irresponsible for the company to invest in that waste reduction.


I love history, and would like to include a lot of content on the history of women and our political projects.
=Finance =


I'm also including mental health, mindfulness, and physical health as a topic, because a lot of women involved in this stuff need that.
[[Finance]]


When I write naturally, it comes out a little bit silly, so I want to lean into that when it's appropriate (ie not on highly emotional or dark topics).
=Sparkle House=


= History: How Does Change Happen?  What's Happening Next? =
[[Sparkle House]]


[[A History of Women, Gay People, and Gender-Diverse People in American Politics]]
=Style & Grooming=


[[Side Trip: Aristasia]]
[[Style & Grooming]]


= Current Events =
=Friends=


= Politics: Who's Doing What, and How You Can Help Them =
[[Friends]]


=== [[Civics, Institutional Power, and Social Change]] ===
=Writing=


https://xkcd.com/1028/
[[The Householders]]


==== Understanding Institutional Capture ====
[[The View From Sunshine City]]


==== Nonpartisan Feminism ====
[[Other Writing]]


Most of the ideas in here come from / were heavily inspired by Natasha Chart's book, Practical Politics for Bold Women.  Buy it here! - https://chartconsulting.samcart.com/products/practical-politics-for-bold-women
Interview w JK Rowling: https://web.archive.org/web/20080623145514/www.scholastic.com/harrypotter/books/author/interview2.htm
 
What is the solution to capture of feminism by the left, and the possibility of future capture of women's organizations by the right?  I think the best defense is small, fiercely independent women's organizations that know how to collaborate across ideological lines, but also are structured so that they can withdraw support, without incurring damage, when their needs are no longer being met by an old coalition.
 
Whatever network you are part of, they should feel like they have to be on their toes a little bit, because if they no longer hold up their end of the bargain, women's groups can walk away.
 
This also goes for organizing for LGB people and gender-diverse people.
 
= Social Issues =
 
Child Safeguarding
 
Domestic Violence and Sexual Violence
 
Commercial Sexual Exploitation
 
==Women's Status:==
 
In Public Spaces
 
In the Workplace
 
Financial Status
 
Public Leadership
 
Church
 
 
 
== Compassion Topics ==
 
[[Abortion]]
 
[[Saving Democracy]]
 
[[How Are Women And Men The Same, And How Are We Different?]]
 
= [[Personal Strength]] =
 
== Mindfulness ==
 
== Behavioral Health and Good Habits ==
 
THESE - Temperature, Hydration, Eating, Sleeping, Exercise
 
I made up this acronym during a time when I was *not* doing well, and I'm still proud of it.
 
Originally I used THESE BFUP, where THESE is physical stuff and BFUP is higher-level stuff.  BFUP is Belonging, Fun, Unwinding, and Purpose.  It's supposed to be pronounced "beef up", as in "These beef up your health and wellness!"  I decided it was more memorable just as THESE.
 
 
=== My checklist ===
 
First, I go through the THESE checklist:
 
'''Temperature''': Is it too warm or cold where I am? 
 
'''Hydration''': Do I need a glass of water, other beverage, or watery food? 
 
I like water, but if you don't, you don't have to drink water.  There's nothing magical about water that exists in a glass by itself.  The water in diet root beer is the same water.  Just watch out for sugar and caffeine. 
 
You can also get water from eating fruit, but that's a slippery slope, because the water in the fruit is also used by your body to help digest the fruit, so you're getting less for hydration. 
 
There is a melon that contains a lot of water.  I'll leave it to you to guess which melon it is.
 
'''Eating''': Have I eaten a moderate amount of healthy food today?
 
'''Sleeping''': Have I slept enough?
 
'''Exercise''': Have I gone on a nice walk, done some yoga, gone on a fun bike ride?
 
== Boundaries and "Winning Therapy" ==
 
== Trauma Healing ==
 
== Physical Health ==
 
[[Healthy Skincare: Sunscreen, Makeup, Soap]]
 
[[Health Tips For Fat Ladies]]
 
== Financial Health ==
 
=== [[Low-Effort Backyard Gardening in Central Florida]] ===
 
== Social Health ==
 
How To Meet Friends Who Share Your Values
 
How To Navigate Friendships Across Ideological Lines
 
== Spiritual Health ==
 
 
[[Temp Link]]
 
= [[Faith and Theology]] =
 
[[Women and the Major World Religions]]
 
[[Commentary on the Divine Feminine from the Major World Religions]]
 
[[Perennialism]]
 
[[Prehistoric Religion]]
 
[[Deanism and Filianism]]
 
[[An Atheist Lesbian Desister's Favorite Catholic Takes on Gender Ideology]]

Latest revision as of 01:08, 1 November 2025

My forties (and the tail end of my thirties) are for practical things, for building core memories with family and friends, and for building a sense of home. Let creativity be a small part of it.

To Do

When you don’t have a realistic plan, you end up working inefficiently, which means you end up overworking.

What are all the ways I am overworking?


Daily:

  • Wake up, walk downtown and back, breakfast
  • 2h Sophos, lunch, nap
  • Up, 1h non-work work
  • Free for social stuff and contemplating life


This Week:

  • Return exercise bike
  • Gently address realistic discomfort at work
  • Slowly enjoy and digest Built From Broken
  • Skim and enjoy How To Listen So Kids Will Talk


Current Priorities:

  • Work: Assert myself, be physically ready for 2h focused work every day
  • Health: Circadian Rhythm, Biomechanics, Better Blood
  • Family & Kids: Create opportunities for listening and bonding
  • Finance: Organize checking accounts, make unemployment plan (LOC)

Health

Cardiac

Nominal Aphasia

Appt Notes

Leg Pain

Gluteal Tendinopathy

Metabolism

Supplements

Inner Wellness

Food

List of foods to remind me of variety

Adaptive Devices

Biomechanics and Movement

Bunions

Home Environment

Active Sitting / Ergonomics

Sunlight Computer

Misc

Airway

Leaky Gut

Better Blood

Legal Justice

Better Blood

FinOps

Once I am at the next level in my career and highly employable, explore routes to land jobs at places that satisfy the political do-gooder side of myself, and that offers me the same pay, benefits, and career security as private industry. This is a moonshot: the one that makes sense for me to do.

Life is short and hard even for the most fortunate of us. And that’s why, whatever you have chosen to work on, it has to be worthy of your time here. Because if you have any success at all, it will take up at least a decade of your life. And if you’re really lucky, you get to work on it for multiple decades.

I stopped by Austin for the FinOpsX conference, an amazing little thing put on by … maybe the Linux Foundation through some other community community, idk.

Anyway, it was really amazing. Open source is just so much fun, I’m really glad that I found it all those years ago. This conference was smallish, like 400 people, but had all the open source vibes that the Drupal scene had back in the day, or the Python scene had the only time I dipped my toes in a few years back.

John Grubb

Whatever you need to help you feel successful is helpful to get you to the place of being successful, as long as you don’t confuse it with success itself.

https://www.ignoredbydinosaurs.com/posts/success

I work with a guy. He’s incredibly smart. He’s the seniormost developer here, and if you need to learn something new and get something large done, he’s the guy to do it. We basically dropped him off in the AWS jungle and told him to learn Hadoop and the entire Hadoop ecosystem for a data warehouse project and he did it.

I work with another guy. He’s also incredibly smart. But he asks me for the answer before attempting to find it on his own more often than not. He’s got a point when he says “it’s a lot faster for me to just ask you rather than spend time trying to find it on my own”, because he’s here to do a job after all. I get that. But the best analogy I can come up with is a spin on the old adage -

You can give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. You can teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime.

There’s a third kind of person, though - the person who goes out and finds out about fishing on their own and then teaches themselves how to fish. This person will be your boss, and will always be employed.




from Reddit

Its not that they hate recommendations, its that you have an opportunity to uplevel yourself and your skills - and it sounds like you really haven't taken it. Managing costs is one bucket of discipline. However, if we're truly measuring money, you have an opportunity to learn how to measure, execute and track on "opportunity cost".

Sure the engineering team can execute on recommendations to reduce recurring running costs. It is fiscally prudent and responsible in a vacuum. At the same time, features or revenue growth initiatives can be orders of magnitude more valuable than executing on cost reduction opportunities. If engineering allocates the time and resources (money) to reduce a recurring cost, it is at the expense of:

The opportunity cost of not working on those other revenue growth initiatives. The break-even return value of the recommendation (remember they've got to invest time to execute). Here is the kicker for you - if you possess the skills to craft a single total ROI message in consideration of the two points above ; then you will naturally drop a chunk of your recommendations. The numbers will say its fiscally irresponsible to be investing on your existing "FinOps recommendations". At the same time, the recommendations you bring forward will generally have a high uptake rate because the break-even value is near term (weeks/days or yesterday) - or the opportunity cost of everything else is worse than missing out on those recurring savings. In the AWS-land, that usually centers around logging and CloudWatch usage where you can quickly realize 90% cost reductions in the magnitudes of hundreds of thousands with a break-even in less than 1 month.

If you can do that - you'll have the foundations to compete for a CFO position within your career. If you cant - you will forever be relegated to the finance controller minion who will struggle to get their recommendations adopted by the other organizations. In the off-chance you make a CFO role, a fiscally responsible board will remove you when your aim is to save peanuts at the expense of missing out on acquiring a large customer base.

An analogy would be a hotel offering food services (breakfasts, lunches, dinners). There is a ton of food waste (possibly quite literally a ton).

Can they optimize? Yes. Should they optimize for responsibility to society? Yes. Should they do it fiscally? No. Why? The revenue comes in from selling the room. The spoilage is fiscally insignificant. It is fiscally irresponsible for the company to invest in that waste reduction.

Finance

Finance

Sparkle House

Sparkle House

Style & Grooming

Style & Grooming

Friends

Friends

Writing

The Householders

The View From Sunshine City

Other Writing

Interview w JK Rowling: https://web.archive.org/web/20080623145514/www.scholastic.com/harrypotter/books/author/interview2.htm