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= The Blog =
My forties (and the tail end of my thirties) are for practical things, for building core memories with family and friends, and for building a sense of home.  Let creativity be a small part of it.


I probably won't name it "Gynergy".  I just had the URL.  But maybe I will?
=To Do=


== Target Reader ==
When you don’t have a realistic plan, you end up working inefficiently, which means you end up overworking.


'''The target blog reader is a college-educated, middle-class Millennial woman.  She wants to spend some of her time enjoying the good life with other women who "get her", and some of her time getting information and theory on the root causes of problems that are bugging her.'''
What are all the ways I am overworking?


=== Header ===
=Routine=


She has had experiences with '''entitled and manipulative men''', including sexual harassment, potentially coercion and manipulation in relationships.  She may be at various stages of "waking up" about this: recognizing that what happened was wrong, recognizing that it didn't happen in a vacuum, getting out of the "benefit of the doubt" mentality with an abuser, etc
Daily:
* 9am Wake up, bathroom, light breakfast, walk to water and back
* 10:30am 2h Sophos, some seated and some floor, with exercises
* 1pm Lunch, nap
* 2:30pm Tea, 2h other stuff
* 5:30pm Free for friends, etc


She is missing a coherent theory of male entitlement and manipulation that would explain her life experiences.  Or, she remembers when it was missing, and she understands its importance.
Weekday Stuff: Always includes time for gentle thinking on the topic.
* Monday: Gentle IFS and exploring tools for scrolling behavior
* Tuesday and Wednesday: Health and Patient Advocacy People
* Thursday: FinOps People, Idealist Tech Career People, or Budgeting
* Friday: ModCon Women’s Group


She may be a '''recovering people-pleaser'''.
Weekends Only:
* Weekend time only: Writing my short story or my politics timeline project


She is '''uncomfortable with the oversexualization of women in culture''', but isn't sure how to address it.  She is also '''uncomfortable with "purity culture"''' and concerned about being shamed or controlled in relation to her clothing and sexual behavior.
==This Month: Do Things Moderately :) ==


She '''may or may not be sexually active, have sex outside of committed relationships, etc'''.  She's not looking for a hardcore ideology on this.  She's a fairly sexually normal woman who wants to understand how to avoid gross or traumatic experiences with men.
Consistently show up 2h/day at Sophos (time/effort)


She wants to talk about these things with other women like her, but not as part of an "exploited woman / helper organization" structure.  She also doesn't want it to devolve into bitterness or obsession.  She may be concerned about "going too far" and becoming unhappy.
Find comfortable adaptations and correct biomechanics for mildly wearing out my muscles (time/effort)


'''She wants information and theory on the root causes of problems.'''
Learn about bunion health and try different shoes


She is interested in information, theory, and strategy for all aspects of male entitlement and coercion: in her sex life, dating life, marriage, family life, and potential court issues in the case of divorce and custody battles.
Get into a turkey burger routine (time/effort)


She is concerned about the '''well-being of children''' because of issues like online porn and gender ideology, and also because of abuse of the family court system.  If she has children, this is probably a primary driver for her.  If she doesn't have children, it is probably a secondary driver.
Get into a comfortable and convenient vegetable routine


Seek support for internet scrolling issue


=== Politics and Faith ===
Go to St. Pete Pier Pumpkin Patch and Gallagher’s Pumpkins & Christmas Trees


She cares a lot about '''politics''', but may not have found her feet for becoming politically engaged.  She considers herself a bridge-builder and values respectful dialogue.  She may identify as progressive because of their reputation for promoting gender equality and freedoms for women.  She may identify as conservative due to their reputation for promoting family life, sex-based rights, and protections for children.  She has reservations about the behavior of both parties.  There may be one side that she considers to be the real enemy, and the other side that she considers to be basically good but in need of reform.
===Next…===


'''She may or may not have a religious faith.'''  If she does, she may have a complicated relationship with her church because of women's issues.  She is interested in discussing women's takes on church life, faith, and theology, including with women who are members of other religions.
Do Phillips heart monitor


Do mail in labs


=== The Splitter Issues (See section below) ===
Pursue imaging for my ankle


'''She may consider herself pro-choice or pro-life.'''  If she supports some restrictions on abortion, she is still concerned about "extreme", highly restrictive abortion laws.  She may also be concerned about women being pressured into abortion.  She is willing to befriend and ally with women who disagree with her on abortion.
Listen to a couple chapters of IFS book (time/effort)


'''She supports gay people and people who don't fit into gender norms, but she is troubled by the push for inclusion of trans-identified males in women's sports, changing rooms, etc.'''  She desires an understanding of "what's going on" with the LGBT movement, and a way to feel a positive connection with gay people as a group while acknowledging the problems with the movement.
Interview two lawyers (time/effort)


Clear out guest bedroom for Mom; switch bed and treadmill (time/effort)


=== Miscellaneous ===
Do first ModCon women’s meetup (time/effort)


She likes learning about '''women's power, intellect, and creative achievement across time and culture'''.  Women's history, philosophy, literature, art.
Go to comedy night (time/effort)


She has had at least one significant experience with '''creepy leftist capture in her intellectual, professional, or values-based networks'''.  This could be in a political group, at church, at a university, at work, in social justice advocacy, an arts community, etc.  She may have also had experiences with conservative capture or "anti-woke left" capture.
Find source to buy zucchini / summer squash seeds


She strives to not spend her life on the Internet, and prefers face-to-face connection.
==Next Month==


== The Capture Problem ==
Stabilize my health habits


'''The magazine is an experiment in how to run a successful project that openly criticizes two things: conservative Christian pressures on abortion law, and secular progressive pressures on gender ideology law.'''
Deepen in Biomechanics


I want to open up a niche for women who are currently less engaged with women's issues than they could be because of the capture problem.
Pursue advanced medical care


Our openness in critiquing both these things will determine how we relate to other organizations.
Run ModCon women’s group


We don't criticize other organizations for choosing neutrality on abortion or gender ideology.  It's often the right choice.  We are just in a different niche.
Lose a lot of weight (effort)


We encourage diversity of thought on abortion and gender ideology within our readership.
Get pretty good at FinOps


One reason is because of the culture of silence that's caused by organizations choosing to stay quiet on these issues to more effectively network with power bases.
Get house set up for housemate


Both of these result in a feeling of "capture", which includes a feeling that a position commonly held by women is unspeakable.  This can create an atmosphere of walking on eggshells.
Pursue justice


Running a successful project requires donors, alliances, and a protection network.
See Ocala family on holidays


Do some art and post it on social media


==Don’t Overwork: Don’t Spend Effort On These Now==


Oh...I remember when this was fun!  This will be really fun once I get the core issue worked out.
After stabilizing at Sophos, pursuing justice, and getting house set up: Become a decent thing doer for a few lawyers or doctors


Basic stance on abortion:
=Health=
*Right now in the US, a passionate minority of people with outlier views on abortion work to get abortion restrictions passed.  These restrictions go against popular opinion and, some cases, threaten women's physical safety. 
*It's important to understand how ideological capture works in this context.
*Women should be able to get abortions in the first trimester.
*Women should be able to get abortions when their health is at stake, or in cases of rape or incest.  The process should not be made overly complex or difficult because of a burden of legal proof.
*Beyond that, we support diverse and nuanced beliefs on abortion. 
*Having passionate beliefs about abortion is healthy, because it's an important moral issue.  It's also a complex moral issue, which is why other women will have passionate beliefs about abortion that are different from yours.
*It's good to have compassionate discussions on abortion with women who disagree with you. 
*Abortion is an important issue for women, and the issue itself should be treated with respect.


Basic stance on gender ideology:
[[Appt Notes]]
*Right now in the US, a passionate minority of people with outlier views on gender identity work to get gender ID laws passed.  These laws go against popular opinion and, some cases, threaten women's physical safety. 
*It's important to understand how ideological capture works in this context.
*Males should not be in women's sports or private spaces. 
*Lesbians should not be pressured to have sex with lesbian-identified males. 
*Gender-nonconforming kids should not be encouraged to see themselves as being a "girl in a boy's body", or the reverse. 
*Beyond that, we support diverse and nuanced beliefs on gender identity.


[[Leg Pain]]


==Inner Wellness==


The magazine will present a fair, non-dramatic, strategic understanding of two political groups in the US: Intense Christian conservative activists and intense secular progressive activists.  Neither group will be characterized simplistically as an enemy, but we won't be shy about criticizing some of their actions.
IFS


I would like to help my target reader understand the history of these two groups, their motivations and emotional lives, and their current role in American politics.  The goal is to help my target reader:
==Food==
# Navigate "captured" spaces in her personal life.
# Vet information coming from both these sources, including information embedded as default beliefs in familiar spaces.
# Explore ideas about how to effectively organize for her own interests, which includes making decisions about how to relate to both of these groups.


== What We Do ==
[[List of foods to remind me of variety]]


The magazine provides a vision for the life our reader wants.
==Adaptive Devices==


The overall tone should not be "dark and urgent".  It should be "bright and promising".
[[Biomechanics and Movement]]


We strategize about to solve problems.  However, we do this from a base vision of a life that is already pretty good.
[[Bunions]]


== Topics We Cover ==
===Home Environment===


Male Entitlement, Deception, and Exploitation: The Personal
[[Active Sitting / Ergonomics]]
*Strategies for meeting and vetting good guys for dating, sex, and/or marriage
*Strategies for avoiding street harassment and assault, and your options if it happens to you
*Stuff you might not know about sex (focus on both pleasure and safety)
*The power dynamics and information dynamics of male entitlement in your life
*The "Manosphere"


Male Entitlement, Deception, and Exploitation: The Political
[[Sunlight Computer]]
*Ending Sexual Exploitation
*How pimp organizations trick people with "friendly" messaging and deceptive tactics
*Talking Points to respond to "sex work is work" messaging
*Investigating the Porn Industry
*Public Health Effects of Porn
*Heroes and hero organizations working on important women's issues
*The "Manosphere"


Nonpartisan Women's Politics:
==Misc==
*Nonpartisan feminism and the "capture problem"
*Abortion
*Gender Identity


Women's Culture:
[[Airway]]
*Women's power, intellect, and achievement through history
*Awesome women doing important stuff today


LGB & T:
[[Leaky Gut]]
*History of gay culture and gay politics
*Gender-nonconformity
*What's going on with the trans movement


Faith:
=Better Blood=
*Women's experiences in the church
*Awesome people doing great stuff for women in the church
*Rad women of the Bible, Torah, and Quran
*Awesome people doing interfaith alliances


Fashion and Lifestyle
[[Legal Justice]]
*Edgy or avant-garde feminist fashion
*Science of Makeup: Is it going to kill you?


[[Better Blood]]


=FinOps=


Strategy for Avoiding Street Harassment
Once I am at the next level in my career and highly employable, explore routes to land jobs at places that satisfy the political do-gooder side of myself, and that offers me the same pay, benefits, and career security as private industry.  This is a moonshot: the one that makes sense for me to do.
Vetting Men
Top 10 Cool Guys in Hollywood Right Now
Lead In Lipstick: The Science
Liberating Women from Commercial Sexual Exploitation
OnlyFans' Deceptive Marketing Practices
PornHub's Deceptive Messaging
Messaging about porn and prostitution is largely based on men lying to you
10 Hero Cops and 10 Shitty Cops


== Our Network ==
Life is short and hard even for the most fortunate of us. And that’s why, whatever you have chosen to work on, it has to be worthy of your time here. Because if you have any success at all, it will take up at least a decade of your life. And if you’re really lucky, you get to work on it for multiple decades.


Maintain OUR OWN center of gravity.
I stopped by Austin for the FinOpsX conference, an amazing little thing put on by … maybe the Linux Foundation through some other community community, idk.


I don't want the people in St Pete to feel like this "came from the internet", or is Internetty.  But I do need to tell them about FDS and Nina Paley.
Anyway, it was really amazing. Open source is just so much fun, I’m really glad that I found it all those years ago. This conference was smallish, like 400 people, but had all the open source vibes that the Drupal scene had back in the day, or the Python scene had the only time I dipped my toes in a few years back.


Maintain just enough of a presence in online spaces that the women who are there can find us.  Argue with them on Twitter; converse with them on Substack; be a guest on their podcast.  But, maintain OUR OWN center of gravity that is elsewhere.
John Grubb


There are wonderful, brilliant, politically informed women who are socially isolated because of creepy leftist capture in intellectual and political networks.
Whatever you need to help you feel successful is helpful to get you to the place of being successful, as long as you don’t confuse it with success itself.


Conservative and "anti-woke liberal" spaces are also captured in different ways. All of these spaces are fundamentally captured by male interests.
https://www.ignoredbydinosaurs.com/posts/success


Places to maintain a presence:
I work with a guy. He’s incredibly smart. He’s the seniormost developer here, and if you need to learn something new and get something large done, he’s the guy to do it. We basically dropped him off in the AWS jungle and told him to learn Hadoop and the entire Hadoop ecosystem for a data warehouse project and he did it.
- Anti-woke networks
- Feminist networks
- Conservative women's networks
- Arts and literature networks
- Religious networks?


== Purpose of the Project ==
I work with another guy. He’s also incredibly smart. But he asks me for the answer before attempting to find it on his own more often than not. He’s got a point when he says “it’s a lot faster for me to just ask you rather than spend time trying to find it on my own”, because he’s here to do a job after all. I get that. But the best analogy I can come up with is a spin on the old adage -


I had several friends and authors who helped me see politics and culture in a new way, when I was making the journey from non-politically-active progressive loyalist to sort-of-politically-active nonpartisan feminist. I'd like to do a knowledge dump of all of that, plus other topics that I think will be relevant for that audience.
You can give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. You can teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime.


I love history, and would like to include a lot of content on the history of women and our political projects.
There’s a third kind of person, though - the person who goes out and finds out about fishing on their own and then teaches themselves how to fish. This person will be your boss, and will always be employed.


I'm also including mental health, mindfulness, and physical health as a topic, because a lot of women involved in this stuff need that.
=Finance =


When I write naturally, it comes out a little bit silly, so I want to lean into that when it's appropriate (ie not on highly emotional or dark topics).
[[Finance]]


= History: How Does Change Happen?  What's Happening Next? =
=Sparkle House=


[[A History of Women, Gay People, and Gender-Diverse People in American Politics]]
[[Sparkle House]]


[[Side Trip: Aristasia]]
=Friends=


= Current Events =
[[Friends]]


= Politics: Who's Doing What, and How You Can Help Them =
= Other =
[[Places In St Pete]]


=== [[Civics, Institutional Power, and Social Change]] ===
[[Old Front Page]]
 
https://xkcd.com/1028/
 
==== Understanding Institutional Capture ====
 
==== Nonpartisan Feminism ====
 
Most of the ideas in here come from / were heavily inspired by Natasha Chart's book, Practical Politics for Bold Women.  Buy it here! - https://chartconsulting.samcart.com/products/practical-politics-for-bold-women
 
What is the solution to capture of feminism by the left, and the possibility of future capture of women's organizations by the right?  I think the best defense is small, fiercely independent women's organizations that know how to collaborate across ideological lines, but also are structured so that they can withdraw support, without incurring damage, when their needs are no longer being met by an old coalition.
 
Whatever network you are part of, they should feel like they have to be on their toes a little bit, because if they no longer hold up their end of the bargain, women's groups can walk away.
 
This also goes for organizing for LGB people and gender-diverse people.
 
= Social Issues =
 
Child Safeguarding
 
Domestic Violence and Sexual Violence
 
Commercial Sexual Exploitation
 
==Women's Status:==
 
In Public Spaces
 
In the Workplace
 
Financial Status
 
Public Leadership
 
Church
 
 
 
== Compassion Topics ==
 
[[Abortion]]
 
[[Saving Democracy]]
 
[[How Are Women And Men The Same, And How Are We Different?]]
 
= [[Personal Strength]] =
 
== Mindfulness ==
 
== Behavioral Health and Good Habits ==
 
THESE - Temperature, Hydration, Eating, Sleeping, Exercise
 
I made up this acronym during a time when I was *not* doing well, and I'm still proud of it.
 
Originally I used THESE BFUP, where THESE is physical stuff and BFUP is higher-level stuff.  BFUP is Belonging, Fun, Unwinding, and Purpose.  It's supposed to be pronounced "beef up", as in "These beef up your health and wellness!"  I decided it was more memorable just as THESE.
 
 
=== My checklist ===
 
First, I go through the THESE checklist:
 
'''Temperature''': Is it too warm or cold where I am? 
 
'''Hydration''': Do I need a glass of water, other beverage, or watery food? 
 
I like water, but if you don't, you don't have to drink water.  There's nothing magical about water that exists in a glass by itself.  The water in diet root beer is the same water.  Just watch out for sugar and caffeine. 
 
You can also get water from eating fruit, but that's a slippery slope, because the water in the fruit is also used by your body to help digest the fruit, so you're getting less for hydration. 
 
There is a melon that contains a lot of water.  I'll leave it to you to guess which melon it is.
 
'''Eating''': Have I eaten a moderate amount of healthy food today?
 
'''Sleeping''': Have I slept enough?
 
'''Exercise''': Have I gone on a nice walk, done some yoga, gone on a fun bike ride?
 
== Boundaries and "Winning Therapy" ==
 
== Trauma Healing ==
 
== Physical Health ==
 
[[Healthy Skincare: Sunscreen, Makeup, Soap]]
 
[[Health Tips For Fat Ladies]]
 
== Financial Health ==
 
=== [[Low-Effort Backyard Gardening in Central Florida]] ===
 
== Social Health ==
 
How To Meet Friends Who Share Your Values
 
How To Navigate Friendships Across Ideological Lines
 
== Spiritual Health ==
 
 
[[Temp Link]]
 
= [[Faith and Theology]] =
 
[[Women and the Major World Religions]]
 
[[Commentary on the Divine Feminine from the Major World Religions]]
 
[[Perennialism]]
 
[[Prehistoric Religion]]
 
[[Deanism and Filianism]]
 
[[An Atheist Lesbian Desister's Favorite Catholic Takes on Gender Ideology]]

Latest revision as of 06:09, 3 October 2025

My forties (and the tail end of my thirties) are for practical things, for building core memories with family and friends, and for building a sense of home. Let creativity be a small part of it.

To Do

When you don’t have a realistic plan, you end up working inefficiently, which means you end up overworking.

What are all the ways I am overworking?

Routine

Daily:

  • 9am Wake up, bathroom, light breakfast, walk to water and back
  • 10:30am 2h Sophos, some seated and some floor, with exercises
  • 1pm Lunch, nap
  • 2:30pm Tea, 2h other stuff
  • 5:30pm Free for friends, etc

Weekday Stuff: Always includes time for gentle thinking on the topic.

  • Monday: Gentle IFS and exploring tools for scrolling behavior
  • Tuesday and Wednesday: Health and Patient Advocacy People
  • Thursday: FinOps People, Idealist Tech Career People, or Budgeting
  • Friday: ModCon Women’s Group

Weekends Only:

  • Weekend time only: Writing my short story or my politics timeline project

This Month: Do Things Moderately :)

Consistently show up 2h/day at Sophos (time/effort)

Find comfortable adaptations and correct biomechanics for mildly wearing out my muscles (time/effort)

Learn about bunion health and try different shoes

Get into a turkey burger routine (time/effort)

Get into a comfortable and convenient vegetable routine

Seek support for internet scrolling issue

Go to St. Pete Pier Pumpkin Patch and Gallagher’s Pumpkins & Christmas Trees

Next…

Do Phillips heart monitor

Do mail in labs

Pursue imaging for my ankle

Listen to a couple chapters of IFS book (time/effort)

Interview two lawyers (time/effort)

Clear out guest bedroom for Mom; switch bed and treadmill (time/effort)

Do first ModCon women’s meetup (time/effort)

Go to comedy night (time/effort)

Find source to buy zucchini / summer squash seeds

Next Month

Stabilize my health habits

Deepen in Biomechanics

Pursue advanced medical care

Run ModCon women’s group

Lose a lot of weight (effort)

Get pretty good at FinOps

Get house set up for housemate

Pursue justice

See Ocala family on holidays

Do some art and post it on social media

Don’t Overwork: Don’t Spend Effort On These Now

After stabilizing at Sophos, pursuing justice, and getting house set up: Become a decent thing doer for a few lawyers or doctors

Health

Appt Notes

Leg Pain

Inner Wellness

IFS

Food

List of foods to remind me of variety

Adaptive Devices

Biomechanics and Movement

Bunions

Home Environment

Active Sitting / Ergonomics

Sunlight Computer

Misc

Airway

Leaky Gut

Better Blood

Legal Justice

Better Blood

FinOps

Once I am at the next level in my career and highly employable, explore routes to land jobs at places that satisfy the political do-gooder side of myself, and that offers me the same pay, benefits, and career security as private industry. This is a moonshot: the one that makes sense for me to do.

Life is short and hard even for the most fortunate of us. And that’s why, whatever you have chosen to work on, it has to be worthy of your time here. Because if you have any success at all, it will take up at least a decade of your life. And if you’re really lucky, you get to work on it for multiple decades.

I stopped by Austin for the FinOpsX conference, an amazing little thing put on by … maybe the Linux Foundation through some other community community, idk.

Anyway, it was really amazing. Open source is just so much fun, I’m really glad that I found it all those years ago. This conference was smallish, like 400 people, but had all the open source vibes that the Drupal scene had back in the day, or the Python scene had the only time I dipped my toes in a few years back.

John Grubb

Whatever you need to help you feel successful is helpful to get you to the place of being successful, as long as you don’t confuse it with success itself.

https://www.ignoredbydinosaurs.com/posts/success

I work with a guy. He’s incredibly smart. He’s the seniormost developer here, and if you need to learn something new and get something large done, he’s the guy to do it. We basically dropped him off in the AWS jungle and told him to learn Hadoop and the entire Hadoop ecosystem for a data warehouse project and he did it.

I work with another guy. He’s also incredibly smart. But he asks me for the answer before attempting to find it on his own more often than not. He’s got a point when he says “it’s a lot faster for me to just ask you rather than spend time trying to find it on my own”, because he’s here to do a job after all. I get that. But the best analogy I can come up with is a spin on the old adage -

You can give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. You can teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime.

There’s a third kind of person, though - the person who goes out and finds out about fishing on their own and then teaches themselves how to fish. This person will be your boss, and will always be employed.

Finance

Finance

Sparkle House

Sparkle House

Friends

Friends

Other

Places In St Pete

Old Front Page